Posted by Julia | 8 min read
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I'm gonna start this post with something that might make you uncomfortable: every time I meet a new client, there's a tiny part of my brain wondering if this person might hurt me.
That sounds dramatic, but it's reality. And that's exactly why screening clients isn't just important in this work – it's literally life or death.
When I tell people outside the industry about my screening process, they usually think I'm being paranoid. But here's the thing: the guys who get annoyed by thorough screening are exactly the guys you don't want to work with.
My First Screening Disaster
When I first started working independently, I thought screening meant asking "are you a cop?" and calling it good.
I know. I cringe thinking about how naive I was.
This guy contacted me through my ad, seemed normal enough in texts, so I agreed to meet him at a hotel. He gave me a first name and a phone number, and that was literally all the information I had.
I showed up at the hotel and immediately got bad vibes. He was way more aggressive than he'd seemed over text, kept trying to negotiate for services I don't offer, and when I said no, he got this look in his eyes that made my stomach drop.
I made some excuse about needing to use the bathroom and literally climbed out the window. Second floor window. Into a parking lot. In heels.
That's when I realized I needed to get serious about screening, because being athletic enough to escape through windows wasn't a sustainable safety strategy.
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The Information I Actually Need
Now my screening process is like a background check on steroids. Before I agree to meet anyone, I need:
Real full name, not just "Mike" or "John." Phone number that I can verify actually belongs to them. Work information – where they work, what they do, rough idea of their schedule. Some form of social media or online presence that matches what they've told me. Recent photo that matches their social media photos.
If they can't or won't provide all of this, we don't meet. Period.
You'd be amazed how many guys get angry about these basic requirements. "Why do you need to know where I work?" "Can't you just trust me?" "This feels like too much."
Dude, you're asking to be alone in a room with someone who weighs fifty pounds less than you. Yeah, I'm gonna need some information.
The Deep Dive Investigation
Once I have their basic info, the real detective work starts.
I reverse-search their phone number to make sure it matches the name they gave me. I look up their workplace to verify they actually work there. I cross-reference their social media to make sure everything lines up.
I also run their information through the bad client lists that circulate in our community. These are shared databases of guys who've been problematic – everything from haggling over prices to getting violent.
Last month I caught a guy who was using a fake name this way. He gave me "David Johnson" but when I looked up the phone number, it was registered to someone completely different. When I confronted him about it, he got defensive and started making excuses.
Red flag city. I blocked his number immediately.
Social Media Stalking (For Safety)
I've become a social media detective, and honestly, you can learn almost everything you need to know about someone from their online presence.
Green flags: Consistent photos over time, normal friend interactions, evidence of a regular life and job, posts that show they're a functioning adult.
Red flags: Brand new profiles, no photos with other people, posts that are angry or aggressive, anything that suggests they don't respect women or boundaries.
I had one potential client whose Instagram was full of posts about how women are manipulative and how society is unfair to men. Another guy had Facebook posts complaining about "gold diggers" and how women only care about money.
Both got immediate blocks. If someone has issues with women in general, they're definitely going to have issues with me specifically.
The Phone Call Test
Before meeting anyone, I always insist on a phone conversation. Texting can hide a lot about a person's personality, but talking reveals things that written messages can't.
Good signs: They sound normal and relaxed, ask appropriate questions, respect boundaries when I redirect inappropriate topics, seem genuinely interested in having a good experience.
Bad signs: They sound drunk or high, immediately start talking about explicit sexual topics, get pushy about meeting right away, or refuse to answer reasonable questions about themselves.
I had one guy who sounded totally fine over text but was slurring his words and talking about weird sexual fantasies during our phone call. Another kept interrupting me and getting impatient when I asked basic screening questions.
Both conversations ended quickly, and I never heard from either of them again after I said I wasn't interested in meeting.
References: The Ultimate Screening Tool
The gold standard of screening is getting references from other providers they've seen recently.
When a potential client can give me the contact info for two or three other NYC Asian escorts who can vouch for them, it makes everything so much easier. I can text these women and ask about their experience – was he respectful, clean, on time, did he follow boundaries, would they see him again?
Most established clients understand this system and have no problem providing references. They know that being referable makes them more attractive to providers.
The guys who get weird about references are usually either brand new (which has its own risks) or problematic (which is why they can't get references).
I keep detailed notes about every client I see so I can provide accurate references for other providers. It's like a professional courtesy system that helps keep everyone safer.
When Red Flags Start Flying
Some red flags are obvious – guys who get angry about screening, refuse to provide information, or immediately start negotiating for illegal services.
But some are more subtle. Guys who seem too eager, push to meet right away, or try to rush through the screening process. Clients who ask a lot of questions about my security measures or want to know if I tell anyone where I'm going.
I had one potential client who kept asking if I lived alone, whether I had roommates, if anyone knew about my work. When I asked why he needed to know, he said he was just curious.
Curiosity about my living situation and safety measures? That's a hard no.
Another guy passed all my initial screening but then started texting me constantly, sending flowers to the hotel, talking about wanting to "take care of me." It went from sweet to creepy really fast.
Good clients understand that this is a professional arrangement with boundaries. Guys who try to blur those boundaries usually have other boundary issues too.
The Time Investment
Thorough screening takes time – sometimes several hours per potential client between research, phone calls, and reference checks.
Some weeks I spend more time screening potential clients than I do actually working. It's unpaid labor that's absolutely essential but completely invisible to people outside the industry.
I've had to turn down potentially good clients because I didn't have time to screen them properly. But rushing screening to save time is exactly how dangerous situations happen.
The clients who understand this and are patient with the process are usually the ones worth working with anyway.
When Screening Saves Your Life
A few months ago, I was screening a potential client who seemed perfect on paper. Professional job, nice photos, could provide references.
But something felt off about his reference. When I contacted the provider he mentioned, she was weird about it. Not negative exactly, but not enthusiastic either.
I pushed for more details and found out he'd been fine during their appointment but had shown up at her regular job afterward, claiming he "just wanted to surprise her with coffee."
That's stalker behavior, even if it seems innocent. I blocked him immediately and warned other providers in my network.
Two weeks later, another girl told me he'd done the same thing to her – followed her to her day job and tried to insert himself into her regular life.
Screening isn't just about avoiding immediate physical danger. It's also about protecting your privacy, your other job, your regular life, and your long-term safety.
The Clients Who Get It
The best clients not only tolerate thorough screening – they appreciate it.
They understand that a provider who screens carefully is someone who takes safety seriously, which means she's more likely to be professional in other ways too.
These clients provide all the requested information promptly, answer questions honestly, and are patient with the process because they know it protects both of us.
They're also the clients who tend to be respectful during appointments, follow boundaries, and become good long-term working relationships.
When I explain my screening process to new potential clients, their reaction tells me almost everything I need to know about whether I want to work with them.
Why Some Girls Skip Screening
I get why some providers, especially newer ones, skip thorough screening. It's time-consuming, it turns away some potential clients, and when you need money right away, any client seems better than no client.
But I've seen what happens when screening gets skipped. Girls end up in dangerous situations, deal with problematic clients, or have their personal information compromised.
The clients who are scared away by proper screening usually aren't clients you want anyway. The good ones understand that screening protects both parties and makes the whole experience better for everyone.
Screening is like wearing a seatbelt. Most of the time it seems unnecessary, but when you need it, you really need it.
Stay safe out there, and never apologize for prioritizing your own security.
Julia
Trust your instincts. If something feels off during screening, it probably is. No amount of money is worth compromising your safety.